timeseer new struggles

You have done it all: read the Codex, reflected on the Thoughts, cried for the beauty of Stardust, bit through my fiery language, and then... You’re Timeseer New.

A different world lies at your feet. But it is not easy.

In this Thought, I want to counter the idea that a Timeseer is always happy and perfectly balanced. Timeseer status is ongoing. You still have an Ice Trap, Crimson temptations, doubts, and insecurities.

And being a Timeseer in this Crimson City brings a set of specific problems of its own. Here, I thought I would list some of those to help you get used to your new Timeseer state.

A Loneliness Named White

The first thing you might notice is how lonely it feels. When you see things clearly through Crystal Vision, you will probably have a realisation of all the Chaos around you. So many things wasted. And you will feel so alone.

When you speak your Truth, people will answer: “But that’s just how it is”, “It is more complicated than you imagine”, or “You can’t change the world”.

Your Truth becomes uncomfortable.

Do not go shouting your newfound Vision everywhere — people will call you mad. But even when you only speak when bidden, Truth is still not welcome in most contexts. Smooth City wants a peaceful performance at all costs — not your Truth.

As long as you do not lose any Stone, keep your Truth. You do not need to become its missionary to defend it. Truth does not become less true because nobody around you wants to hear it.

Big Tower Problems

Another problem of being a Timeseer is having a strong Tower. Most people have no precise concept of self-defence. Clutching onto money is often their answer...

Most are trapped inside their Stone Tower, always seeing what they are missing. Developed Fire Walls are even rarer. If you have ever felt insecure, do not worry too much: many people are as insecure as you. Many Fire Walls are spewing here and there, exhausting themselves before any real Fire has the chance to ignite.

And then developed Ice Traps and Air Currents... Those concepts are often not even within the range of mainstream self-development. They are ultra rare.

So, when a Timeseer comes face to face with others, the balance of strength can be ridiculous. Where the Other is still grasping at straws to build a Stone Tower without a map, the Timeseer has a full-fledged four-layered bastion.

Naturally, as Timeseer, your goal is not to gloat or say, “My Tower is so much better than yours.” Unless they attack you, of course.

However, you also cannot deny that the imbalance will influence the way you interact with the Other. They cannot fully name what they are feeling, but they perceive the self-sufficiency, the confidence, the Icy whispers, and the Current’s open view.

When faced with your big Tower, people might call you “arrogant”, “scary”, “distant”, “cocky”, or “rude”.

There is no real solution for this, as it is not an option to break down your Tower for the comfort of the needy. Perhaps the only thing you can do is turn down the Fire a bit and lean more into the Air Current. But even that may make you seem “arrogant”.

Love Is Rude

Timeseers might discover another paradox of Smooth City while they are integrating Love.

Smooth City sounds lovely. Politeness is full of soft feeling words. There are so many Smooth euphemisms for saying things without friction. But being agreeable is not the same as being kind.

Timeseers should see the difference. Kindness, Love, and Connection are not always soft. Love moves a River. And it can be rough.

Smooth City hides imperfections under touchy-feely words. Love steps into the imperfections and adapts itself to the imperfections.

Smooth City sounds like empathy. Love is empathy.

Keep separating both, Timeseer! Smooth City loves a mushy smoothy, but Love is full of Strange currents, dark vortices, and wonderful mists.

Final State Counsel

Be prepared, Timeseer. What I described here were just the most common clashes between an integrated self and the rest of the Crimson world.

Most people will not be neutral when faced with you. Your integration dismantles their Smooth Crimson like 1, 2, 3. People often project onto what they cannot comfortably name.

For some, you become an angel, a superior being, a fantasy dream. They mistake your Light for the Light they broke inside themselves. They cannot let you go.

For others, you become a witch, a demon, an antichrist. They mistake your Light for the Light that will reveal their darkness. They are going to try everything to blacken you.

For totally peaceful and neutral encounters, you will need other Timeseers. As the first Timeseers, we are bound to be a bit lonely. It is mathematical.

All changes have their prices, even good changes. But I gladly paid this price. No way I am ever going back to being like before.

I lost many superficial connections to keep my Truth burning. But my Flower is fair, and I can make 1,000 new connections if I wish to.